itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

anaisforthewin:

shapeshiftandtrick:

ryan-aniki:

shapeshiftandtrick:

how does one tell a boy that one likes him

I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:

1. text them and start playing one of those 20q games
2. if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
3. if they ask “You like anyone?”
    reply Yeah, you.
4. If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”

dude that is genius

slow clappin’ it out.

babyferaligator:

gastroclon:

babyferaligator:

what did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash?

pigs are commonly known for rolling around in dirt, but there’s a reason for this. Pigs skin is very sensitive, the harshness of their environment can result in rashes and often sunburns. Bigs use mud to help relieve pain and protect their skin. Since piglets are even more delicate, mother pigs will often roll their pigs in mud right after birth.

NO THEY GIVE THEM OINKMENT

frigerator:

ONE TIME MY PARENTS WENT TO GO GET PIZZA AND MY DAD WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND MY MOM FORGOT HIM AT THE PIZZA PLACE AND CAME HOME AND STARTED EATING THE PIZZA AND THEN WONDERED WHERE MY DAD WENT AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME

unfollower:

invite me over to ur house it’ll be a blast ill pet your dog while ur parents yell at you

rowrowftp:

shaaaaabaaaz:

aiclan:

cormbread:

buttermilkqueen:

girl you are

no i’m genuinely confused is there even a joke here

hussie in a basket

a basket of horses

a basket of horsecock

…p..packing dat ass?

DEREK.